Thursday, 30 July 2015

Lion Low...?



Cecil the lion has been killed by an American and produced an avalanche of internet outrage, and no wonder.  The nature of hose people who think killing an animal is worth doing is despicable.  While I agree that animals can be farmed, culled and controlled the hunger to kill them just because they exist reflects on human nature.  Those who dress in funny clothes to ride horses behind a pack of hungry hounds chasing a fox until it is ripped to shreds in my view are similar to this American dentist who chose to shoot a popular lion with a bow and arrow, they are vermin!  Not only did this man use a bow and arrow he did so badly, the animal did not die and suffered for 40 hours before being killed by a bullet.
Human nature is barbaric.  All too often we think we are quite good with a few bad bits, human nature however, as the press shows us, is actually very bad with a few good bits!  This bad bit leaks out continually though for the most part we keep it down.  Any police station will reveal something of the depth of depravity within human nature and it is no wonder policemen tend to become hardened and often quite devious themselves.  We like to abuse others, we like to be top dog, we can excuse this for one reason or another yet that nastiness lies within us all.
One example of this is the internet anger, righteous anger in this instance, in that those who read the story have turned on the dentist responsible, so much so his office is under police guard and he is in hiding.  Before the internet the story would produce anger and a few letters to the press today we can all make our opinions known quickly, possibly too quickly, and venom leaks out easily.  On occasion this venom produce violent actions and this can be dangerous for all involved.
The dentist and his African guides cannot avoid their guilt.  This was a barbarous act with no sense and for which there was no need bar blood lust!  Those who kill animals do so because they are unable to kill humans, as that can lead to jail.  They would kill easily if a war gave them the excuse however, and would be non to fussed if they hit the wrong people.  
One thing is interesting here  seven million children have been murdered by abortion in this country since 1967, often for the serious reason that they have minor fault or possibly are merely female.  Seven million dumped down the drain for no good reason but we fuss about a lion!
Shome mishtake shurely?

    

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Computer Stuff Innit?



The Windows 10 upgrade arrived today.  I have yet to upgrade, and the beast is going slow for some unknown reason as it is, and I am in two minds whether to go ahead with this confusing upgrade business.  One thing is clear Microsoft will know everything about us that it does not know already and 'they' will be keeping tabs on us even closer than before.  If only I had brains I could use one of them Unix type browsers.  If I had brains I would of course be living in a warm country, by the sea, with several servants seeing to my every need.  As it is I'm clearly dumb!  
I will await indications from the geeks around us as to whether this new OS works, if I have brains enough to work it, and what are the pitfalls, mistakes and obvious bits Microsoft have forgotten.  I suspect within the week a million updates will be flowing around the ether stopping the hackers enjoying themselves, interfering with peoples private computer worlds is a job for the police and tabloid journalists after all.
One thing, every blog now has that daft cookie message on it but I have not seen it on mine, does it show to others I ask?  I understand the need for this but wonder about going too far with such things.  Surely a small message, whether accepted or not, should suffice?
I have tried to remove things from the laptop today but even that went wrong.  I have placed the info on discs, pictures fill discs, this took time and was well organised I thought.  However as I went to add fotos to these discs they were either full or I could not find the appropriate disc!  Maybe I lost it, deleted it or didn't make one and deleted the previous stuff by mistake, anything is possible here.  Still it filled the morning didn't it?  My technical expertise is limited but today I must confess it was falling apart, I knew I should have eaten better last night, that's the problem!  Something is slowing the beast and with half a brain and the failure of the malware finders to find anything I conclude it must be me.  Bah!  
This is typical of course, work on fixing things in the house is half finished and many half started ideas leave a mark in odd corners,usually wreathed in cobwebs.  My documents folder has many such great ideas I have began and dumped when reality came along, and this desk is awash with books and papers for reasons long forgotten.  The story of my life really.  
I prepare for the kids tomorrow, the bullwhip suggestion has been useful, extra staff laid on, hopefully, and chocolate produced to keep the girls near me.  A useful tip for men failing to attract them, a bag of chocolates produce a response like bees around a honey pot!  If they talk too much give them toffees, that does not fail either as they cannot refuse and then cannot talk, wonderful idea that works! 



Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Kids Stuff Began Today



This was my morning!  A stampede of kids and mums all at one time!  I lost count at three or four thousand.  They had come for the first holiday activity, gardening, and spent the day enjoying themselves in the somewhat cold outside today.  I just had to book them in, all by myself, which entailed checking the records, booking them for further activities, giving name tags, answering phones, dealing with strangers questions and all at one time.  The others were doing a variety of other things looking for help from me!  
The kids, all seven thousand off them, behaved well, except when I did my headmaster grumble at two wee neds aged about ten throwing things about, and they went home happy with their pots of herbs or salad or other things to grow at home.  Naturally the paperwork went wrong and as I tried to sort it out in between showing kids the toilets, answering phone calls, booking folks in and dealing with yet more queries, I never got it right, even with help!
And my chocolate fell on the floor.
That was my lunch!
I ate it.
Finishing time arrived before I had finished my breakfast tea.  I was so busy I did not notice the time pass by.  So much was done, by me, and no doubt so much will have to be put right, by them, and then I have to do it all over again on Thursday covering for the sick.
It is amazing how quickly a well organised desk descends into farce!  It's a good thing the mums understand and play a good part here.  This fills the kids time, saves them worry, and many disappear to shops or cafe while it goes on.  It's so good most have come back from last year.    

Other queries included a man researching his house.  He has done wonders in finding out so much about previous owners, including the one who frequented the courts for not paying for things, and was stuck regarding individuals who he thought we might have info on.  Naturally I was interested but passed the buck to the boss who has the info hidden deep in the bowels of the computer system.  Looking back into who lived in the house is very interesting, daft some folks think but when you begin to look amazing facts ans coincidences arise.  The man who began a museum here in the 30's lived there at one point so that was interesting.  

I wandered into Tesco for bread afterwards and found it full of people, many with kids.  Outside the lower orders of adolescents were gathered hanging around waiting on something, a wash perhaps, and I felt sorry for the staff as masses of folks will pass through and around the store for weeks.  This reminds me to shop early when all this lot are still akip.

I will return to my bed several times tomorrow I have decided....  

Monday, 27 July 2015

Mindless



Sick!
Time has dragged this weekend as my head has not been with me for the most part.  Sleep was the only answer as I struggled to get through the days over the weekend.  Today I slept a lot avoiding the summer weather, rain, wind and people in shorts and T=shirts convinced it was warm!  How daft are the English?

Instead of working upon something or other I done little of any account, so no news there.  I merely look forward to the football returning properly next weekend and then I can wright about it daily.  Wouldn't that be nice?  What?....oh!

David Cameron is unhappy about a member of the House of Lords being found taking cocaine from a prostitutes boobs, using the girl,dressing in her bra and informing the world of his opinion of Dave and everyone else.  An opinion most agree with by the way.
David thinks this is not nice yet forgets the paedophiles  inquiry underway at the moment, looking for such among members of previous cabinets no less,and Westminster being full of deviants and perverts of all kinds which he as PM has been informed about.  They remain in the House and he does nothing about it, until the 'Sun' catches them out.
Maybe he should stick to threatening Iraq and Syria where he next wishes to bomb.  Clearly this will happen, clearly he wishes to put troops on the ground, clearly he is the front man for the US who wish to do the same.  'Fools rush in....'

What else happened?  I don't remember, I was looking for my mind.


Sunday, 26 July 2015

A Sweet Thought



The Scots diet begins with sweets.  Daily the kids would fill the local shop buying the delicacies and destroying their teeth.  In times past, when such as those pictured were bought for a penny, some four for a penny, or maybe a half penny depending on when you went to school, in times past no-one wrote long diatribes in the press grumbling about fat lids and potential diseases.  Well the dentists did but we ignored them!
In 1956 I started school, how frightened I was and much more so when I discovered I would have to continue there for the next seven years!  Each day I had threepence to spend on luxuries such as these.  I chose carefully and my teeth rotted at the normal rate for the time.  However I was miffed for may years as the 'Walnut Whip' was fourpence and as my spending money grew so did the price of the 'whip!'  There was little in the way of tinned drinks then we did buy large bottles of juice form the shops or occasionally from a lorry selling them around the estates. (Note: in those days referred to 'housing estates,' not 'schemes' as portrayed by fans of 'Trainspotting' that vile film of the eighties (filmed in Glasgow by the way.)) Cola, Dark Kola, and the usual run of juices were available to rot the teeth but there were still no whining in the media (which I did not read anyway).
Why then were we not fat, sick, and subject to the 'nanny state?
For a start our mothers cooked!  Potato Soup made by my mother was better than anything bought in a tin.  Far too many chips, along with fish, spam fritters or other home cooked grub.  Many of which were fried in the big pan fryer.  I was skinny, and indeed remain such except for the pot belly.
We played outside and this was a reason we were healthy.  We played all sorts of games as kids including violent ones based on the recent war yet none of us became deranged killers (except for that unfortunate night in Mussleburgh which I canny mention).  As we got nearer adolescent age we played football every night, as well as in the playground, and did not suffer any problems.  We started smoking at that later adolescent age all do and most have long since dumped that.  
So why the change?
For a start false equality entered the playground. Instead of boys developing alongside boys and girls beside girls they were all mixed, and that ruins a football game.  The gender lie attempts to make them the same, they are clearly NOT the same and require a great deal of separate development.  The absurd belief that guns caused violence removed army type games from young children.  Even cowboy guns, once common, were banned.  Violence comes from the heart, not guns!  The people most likely to oppose any war are soldiers who have served in battle.  They know what it is like!  Such men also oppose selling guns to anyone who asks!
Quite why football stopped being played nightly in Edinburgh in the eighties remains a mystery.  Was it homework?  Then why are so many from that time dumb?  Why did they buy the awful music from Duran Duran, Wet Wet Wet, and other spangly hair coiffed numpties?
Could it be computer games?  They began then, did they kill off football?  I know only that all the places I once revealed my outstanding goalkeeping are no longer used this way.  How sad.  Could this be responsible for Scotland losing its place in world football?  
If mum's cooked properly, if food manufacturers did not put so much muck into food, if the nation was less wealthy and could not afford needless amounts of fattening rubbish the nation might be healthier.  It certainly would be fitter if more boys kicked a ball around each night than played computer games and kicked one another around.
And another thing Mars Bars were always to expensive for me also. 




Saturday, 25 July 2015

Saturday Pigeon Post



Football is back!
Today is the first day of Scottish football, well the wee cup began today, next week the real thing begins.  So for the first time in ages I was able to watch a proper game, until I got fed up as we knew who would win and went out for some wood glue.
Yes wood glue.
In trying to restore the door I am inserting each strut in it's rightful place, then doing it, and several others, once again.  Soon I will require to stick them down and wood glue will be useful.  However I have only reached half way and they are not keen to stay in place.
I walked away in disgust.
Nothing else happened.
I keep forgetting what day this is, a habit these days. 
There is something else I keep forgetting, but I canny mind what that is...

 

Friday, 24 July 2015

Rain




This has been the lot today, nothing but rain with much more promised overnight.  Hooray!
At least the streets will be clean, but it might last until Monday!  
Nothing else happened.
If it did I missed it.


Thursday, 23 July 2015

It's not been a Good Day



I'm no happy!
Waking early near six thirty I had finished breakfast by around nine. 
Well there is the emails to read, none whatsoever again, not even spam.  
There is the daily online papers to scrutinise,  occasionally adding comments beneath.  To the 'Daily Mail' I am a Socialist Labour Leftie Communist, to the 'Guardian' a fascist and to me that indicates I am on the right track.  Not that there was much to comment on, just misandrists attacking men for saying things about women when women say worse about men and are feted by such as those who use the term feminist,  (Has anyone see the feminist bible? What are the ten laws of feminism?). There was also an Oxbridge type Labour woman warning about Jeremy Corbyn being a danger.  You could not make this up, a woman who has never worked telling others what Labour should stand for!  
Anyway I was up for work by then, sort off, so I hoovered a day early, considered the dusting and considered doing that later, much later, made space and set up the ironing board.
These jobs are all, as you know, what women were made for.  Quite why they make such a fuss about doing it with no help when they also make such a fuss about not having it done even when it doesn't need it except in their eyes by a man who sees no need to do what doesn't require doing.  I fail to understand their fuss myself.
Sadly I could not convince any woman to do this work, work she was clearly made for and then worked my way through a pile of shirts that had been awaiting ironing for some time.  I didn't recognise some of them it's been so long.  I took fro granted they had been washed but ...you never know, too late now.
So I spent all morning going back and forth while watching an old video about Nero, except when a bit broke off the iron, I wonder what that was for?
After what to me was an interminable time I grabbed the shirts, now hanging sort of ironed on the bookcases and took them to the cupboard.  This was a moment of triumph!  With all the shirts washed and ironed and put away I could forget this for another year, or so.  Happily I fell over things lying about and made for the east wing.
My day was made as I opened the door of the venetian blind slatted cupboard.  Holding a mass of shirts with one hand I jerked open the door gently and the beam pulled away from the rest off the door and all the strats that make up the door fell to the floor.
(censored)
It all remains there.
It might remain there a long time!
To replace the slats will take forever, as one goes in the next falls out. As you get higher the lower fall out again.  The small door above occasionally does this and it takes ages to get the two or three slats back in place.  There appear to be a lot of things to replace.  This could be an ongoing process for some days, if not weeks.
I'm so happy...

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Grumbling, me?



I saw this man early today after I dropped off a letter complaining about the new block they wish to build next door.  He was sitting glaring at me, his friend hiding under the tree, and appeared less than keen to see me.  I suppose at that time of the day it is usually mums and kids on their way to school, or returned from there ans that is why he is feared.  The minute I moved he was off.
Next door lies an old hut.  It was built as a memorial to an individual of some repute after the war and now it appear sit has asbestos within and must come down.  A developer has offered a three story building with four flats, car parking space on ground floor, windows that looks into other peoples windows just to line his pockets and I and others do not like it.  This governments approach favours such men, and we have a similar council so I do not hold out much hope here.  I wrote and complained and a very slight adjustment has been offered, so I complain again but something tells me, from listening to others, that this will go through anyway even if totally wrong.  



In spite of not eating properly, feeling rough, and unloved I returned to fill an empty space in the museum this afternoon where I dealt with hundreds of attractive young mums asking about the kids stuff over the next few weeks.  The mums are somewhat miffed that there are seven weeks of holidays ahead, the kids are delighted.  I booked one or two in for dozens of things, the kids often not getting a choice, and the mums looking to the cafe where they can hide from them for a while.
All good fun and the events begin next week.  I am glad I only do one day, well two at the moment.
Thirty kids at one go, many mums also, thankfully I just welcome them in, check the list and dump them on the others.  I m completely washed out, too tired to watch the first of the football.  Tsk!


.

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Game, Cuts and Rock!



It has become my habit recently to retire to the East Wing and recline on the divan listening to those 15 minute Radio 4 programmes, if that is I can find one worth setting my ears to.  This is not easy as the BBC iPlayer Radio has a lot of such programmes, and many others also yet finding one to suit the present mood means a search through the archive.  When a suitable programme is found I then listen while fiddling with the 123 Solitaire game.  It appears impossible to just listen, my fingers need to run across the keys while I listen.  Just twiddling the thumbs does not satisfy.  Possibly I edge into a coma while doing this, some would say what's the difference from the norm, but it eases the cares of the day.  
Of course I use my full intellect on the Block Game also, or even Bouncing Balls, any game that does not require deep thought and yet keeps the fingers and mind entertained simply will do.  I tried Tetris but cannot turn the sound off, this makes listening to the wireless difficult, so I end up on one of the Solitaire games.
Life is so difficult innit....?





Brilliant tactic by George today.  He has leaked to the media his desire to cut 40% of the government spending.  Brilliant!  Where will he cut?  Nowhere that votes Conservative or pays into the Conservative coffers, so big business will continue to dodge taxes as will the owner of the 'Daily Mail.'  I suspect those full time carers may lose their £61 a week benefit, already his policies have threatened 300,000 children, but their folks don't vote Tory, and who will be next is the question?  As his Eton prefect mate wishes to invade Iraq I suppose he has to find the money for that from somewhere, and the weakest can do nothing about this as their is no opposition in the UK parliament today other than the SNP.  


  
Good News!  Edinburgh Rock has been saved!  I knew this was one brand that could not be allowed to die.  One James Anderson, a local lad, has stepped in to save the factory.  Growing up near the place and knowing it was only age that forced the sale he has decided to keep the company going and pleased dentists everywhere!
These sweets, Edinburgh Rock, Pan Drops, Soor Plooms and Rhubarb Rock have eaten away at kids teeth for generations and to lose such an important part of the Scots diet would be unthinkable.
That reminds me, I better take my teeth out of that glass...



Monday, 20 July 2015

Mixed Bag Monday


Our power drunk incompetent PM is doing it again.  He has in his mind the idea that to be a great leader he must be seen as a war leader, therefore he has been striving these past few years for a war he can win.  Encouraged by politicians taking cash from gun running types he has proposed bombing Assad in Syria, before being told not to be stupid by almost everybody, he forced the yanks to help him bomb Libya and remove Gaddafi leaving Libya in a mess with several governments almost all of which are led by gun-toting murderers, and then he went to bomb ISIS in Iraq, now he wishes to bomb them in Syria also.  The situation is therefore the men he wished to help bomb Assad he now wishes to bomb for being in Iraq. Clear?
Once again this mans PR failure is evident.  Screaming loudly about bombing Muslims while telling the British Muslims to do something about their home grown possible terrorists just increases the numbers of home grown possible terrorists.  His 'five year plan' to defeat the 'Caliphate' as he calls it shows all the understanding of the Iraq situation revealed by Bush and Blair some time back, let alone the British and French after the first world war!  
This sort require sensible propaganda to defeat, intelligence and thought are a must.  Shouting loudly about killing them off will not work and just increase the problem.  Intelligence and thought are of course the two things least available in this government.  Thoughtful consideration is less important than joining with the US in a bombing campaign (which has not stopped IS so far) rather than working on the ground creating divisions within the group.  
Clearly both the US and UK wish to put boots on the ground, clearly all this is leading up to this idea, clearly that is unpopular in the country and will be a disaster for all concerned.


The Carron Fish Bar claims to be the place where the 'Deep fried Mars Bar' was born.  This luxury did not exist when I lived in Edinburgh, Scotland's capital city.  However since the inception of this delight it now appears Scots eat only such delicacies and almost anything else is ignored.  Somehow  I feel this may not be true.  I myself have never had one, nor have I had the desire to eat one and I doubt the somewhat limited chip shops in this part of the world would never be capable of offering  such a treat.  Whether the idea for such treatment of a chocolate bar originated at this particular shop I know not.   This is one of those things that I have never studied myself, however this has become successful and all fish and chip shops now offer the same in Scotland, alongside other typical Scots fare, Haddock & Chips, Pie & chips, Kebabs & chips.
There is however a problem, isn't there always?  The banner outside the shop has come under scrutiny of the council who are going through one of those 'clean up the town' periods.  The feeling there is that this particular banner is somewhat ugly and requires amendment.  Naturally the shop has rushed to the media to make publicity defend their right to use this banner.  Personally I would agree the banner is unsightly and a more considered display could easily be arranged.  However there is nothing like publicity and this woman will see people drive for miles to the shop for a deep fried Mars Bar!  The council do have powers others do not possess and I suspect changes will be made eventually without hampering this chip shops viability.
Interestingly Mars themselves wrote to this shop stating:-
 The company said it could not authorise or endorse the product which went against its policy of promoting a "healthy lifestyle."
Quite how a company that makes billions selling a wide variety of chocolate could make such a statement is beyond me.
Stonehaven itself rests just south of oil rich Aberdeen and dates far back into prehistoric times.  It is thought to have been established as an Iron Age fishing village.  In the late 1200's William Wallace the noble hero took back Dunnotter Castle from the thug Edward 1. King of Englandshire and later the noble Covenanters were crowded together in Dunnotter Castle before being shipped to the Americas, those that survived that is, some being executed or died of misuse.  Nothing much happens today as most pass through on their way north or south.  They can however stop off for lunch at the Carron Fish Bar, easily identified by the banner above the shop.

 
 
Mitsubishi, the Japanes giant, have decided to apologise for using American servicemen as slave labour during the second world war. How nice of them seventy years later! I notice this apology not only fails to offer compensation but also avoids any reference to the hundreds of British servicemen also enslaved at this plant. This feeble apology clearly has a hidden meaning. Mitsubishi, famous for their 'Zero' fighter at the time, clearly are aiming for some big money making deal with the US. What this may be we might find out later, clearly the British, nor the Australian, Indian and other, dead will not make them cash.



Sunday, 19 July 2015

A Walk in the Gardens, Eventually.



Naturally I have been experimenting when not lazing about the floor.  I remained closeted indoors today gain filling my empty head with images from the TV of the Tour de France or Motor bike racing.  One tired me out, men cycling up hills at twenty miles an hour does this, and the other made me laugh as riders kept crashing off spectacularly and all but one walked away.  He was OK I think.
In between I played with the fancy bits on the camera and try as I might could not get this coin to reflect the actual colour.  I have never seen this one before, VC on the back of a fifty pence pence but it is dated 2006!  I must be slipping, I must read my money better.



This mug was given to me by my niece, the brightest and best looking one.  She sent me this to match the teapot sent earlier!  One day she sent me a book, 'Grumpy Old Men,' an excellent read I must say but the title is incorrect.  She also sent on 'The Oldie' annual, and later 'The Real Dad's Army.'  Her husband must take better control of her I say.



Again no matter what I tried I could not catch the actual shade in which sat this bench.  Even after fiddling with it there is still no likeness to the original colour.  Maybe the camera is faulty...?  You do get funny looks when taking pictures of empty benches in the park.



I only sauntered out for ten minutes, walking slowly through the gardens being overtaken by old wives on Zimmer frames and older ones pushing older ones in wheelchairs.  Bah!  Almost as bad when in the eighties working in London the driver and I were upset to be given an old van to use.  We were more upset when overtaken by a walking funeral!   



Saturday, 18 July 2015

Study Day.



All day Friday we had a study day.  The museum now requires to place all the stock onto digital photos so that we can show them online, cover insurance and just keep a record of the item.  So a group of us were tutored by Sarah an excellent professional at this sort of thing and excellent photographer and a great deal was learned.  Naturally she exposed my lack of understanding of this computer controlled camera, my lack of knowledge and several other faults - then we began.

 
Sarah began by making us use things on the camera some of us had never known about, even the wee cameras were full of tricks.  Naturally I had heard of all these things mentioned years ago but had never used them, white Balance, metering mode, ISO and such things but in the days of twisting lenses and twiddling knobs it was all different and I rarely made use of what little I thought I knew, and it showed.  However computerising everything is easier when you remember what to do and when to do it.  All to often this means hitting the Auto button!  We all had such fun wondering what was going on and attempting to find the items she indicated on the cameras.  As we had several different types of various ages and various makes there was some confused expressions as we pressed buttons and let out exclamations.  The most used one was 'HELP!'  All her info and advice sounded so easy but was not so easy to put into practice especially when you take regard for the motley collection struggling to get the brain in gear.

  
It was an instructive time and after we had cooled down and walked around to clear our heads we did the practical side of things.  When we came to actually photographing different types of items we saw the problems writ large.  This beast here looks OK in this picture, it reveals the shape but the colour is very different from the original.  This would not do for recording purposes.  None of the seven or eight pictures gave proper rendition of the colour.  The white background was worse making the object merely black!  The white balance trick, the spot metering trick and pressing the wrong button trick were all tried and but failed to give satisfaction.  
The coin was a laugh, for the others!  I could not get the Macro to work on my camera, the two girls did with no problems and that is Sarah's effort with the coin.  Their cameras worked well, not mine, bah!  When I did get the Macro to work my hand shook, possibly with rage, and the effort was worthless.  It did however show the difficulties of the simple job of photographing objects for museum purposes.  



We learned a great deal from this and once we find suitable undiscovered space we can start taking the photos.  We ought to have completed the job by 2150!   I spent ages attempting to picture the mirror without any reflections.  Naturally the thing looks blank without a reflection so I had to find one.  I don't think I would spend cash on this myself judging by that photo.  
An enjoyable day even though I felt rotten early on as the bug was bugging me but I managed to stay awake long enough to see out the day.  I have therefore spent today lounging around hiding away from the world and also the sunshine which has shown up again today.  How nice to have nothing that must be done today, not even a blog, er, oops .         



Thursday, 16 July 2015

Lee Gets it Right!



Lee appears to think this song fits, I wonder why...?



Life Gets Tee-jus, Don't It

The sun comes up and the sun goes down
The hands on the clock keep a-goin' 'round
I just get up and it's time to lay down
Life gets tee-jus, don't it, hmm.

My shoes untied but I don't care
I ain't a-figurin' on goin' nowhere
For I'd have to wash and comb my hair
And that's just wasted effort.

The water in the well just gettin' lower and lower
Can't take a bath at six months more
But I've heared it said and it's true, I'm sure
That to much bathin' will, will weaken you.

I opened the door an' the fly's swarm in
Closed the door and I'm sweatin' again
And in the pros... (a huchh) crack my shin
Just one darn thing after another.

Old brown mule he must be sick
I jambed him in the rump with a pin on a stick
He humped his back but he wouldn't kick
Now there's something cock-eyed somewhere.

A mouse a-chewin' on the pantry door
He's been at it fer a month or more
When he gets through he'd sure be sore
'Cause there ain't a darned thing in there.

Hound dog howlin' so forlorn
Laziest dog that was ever born
He's a-howlin' 'cause he's a-settin' on a thorn
An' just to tired to move over.

The tin roof leaks and chimney leans
An' there's a hole in the seat of my old blue jeans
And I ett the last of the pork and beans
Just can't depend on nothin'.

Cow's gone dry and the hens won't lay
Fish quit bittin' and it's Saturday
Troubles are pilin' up day by day
And now I'm gettin' dandruff.

Grief and misery, pains and woes
Debts and taxes, yea, so it goes
I think I'm gettin' a cold in my nose
Life get tee-just don't it?...


Walter Brennan